The DC U-Turn

If Washington, D.C. has one redemption among it's countless failures, it has to be the public transportation system, or "The Metro". Metrobuses run fairly regularly and the subway can get you most places around the city. (Mental note: Write scathing blog entry over haughty Georgetown fucktards who do not want the Metro to have a subway stop in "their part of town".)

The reason I praise the Metro system is because if I ever had to drive anywhere in this city, I would wind up in jail for 1st degree murder. One reason: The DC U-turn.

If you haven't had the pleasure of witnessing one of life's dumber moments behind the wheel while in the District, let me enlighten you: The DC U-turn occurs when a particularly self-deluded DC motorist decides he forgot to drop his kid off with his illegal alien nanny, or, his trophy wife decided she should have worn her other pair of Jimmy Choo shoes (or any of the other hundreds she owns). Said motorist then pulls an illegal u-turn in the middle of the street, regardless of on-coming traffic. This will typically cause traffic to halt on both sides of the street to much tire screeching and horn honking.

The offending driver then proceeds to give dirty looks to everyone who has honked, as they are clearly "King or Queen of the World" and can do "whatever the fuck they like".

There are two main differences between the standard "Illegal U-turn" and the "DC U-turn". Firstly, the DC U-turn will only happen within 15 feet of a traffic intersection. Had the selfish prick (or prickette) taken an extra minute to properly, and safely, use the intersection to change directions the U-turn could have been avoided. Instead, it seems to be way more efficient to "pull the U-bee" in front of everyone else so they can see how important you are to change directions mid-street. Secondly, while an Illegal U-turn can be made by any type of vehicle on the road, the DC U-turn can only be done by Mercedes, BMWs, or Saabs.

Reason being is because "you gotta look good being an asshole", which I think is the new motto DCists are voting on for the new license plate.

I fucking hate DC.